有没有宝宝都要好好过活

谢谢分享

妈妈文章都是写英文字看不懂

妈妈: 我翻了一两段, 可是我今天头晕到不行, 其它的还没翻好, 等翻好我再全 po

---

My Name is Lori and I Am Infertile: Surviving Depression Caused by Infertility

Posted April 29, 2008 - 12:00 by Lori Kerrigan

My name is Lori and my husband and I are infertile

Being infertile, I have often felt like, that is it, that is what I am, infertile Not a wife, friend, aunt, writer, teacher, hiker, mom to Gizmo, etc But infertile It’s been a while since I felt this emotion in such a strong way, so I was surprised last night when this once constant and invasive feeling came on Last night Michael and I were at church, and for the first time the church asked everyone to greet each other Not an unco妹妹on practice for church, but a first time for our church (or maybe it was the first time we were there early enough) So, I stuck out my hand, smiled and said, “I’m Lori”, and the next natural thing that wanted to come out of my mouth was, “and I am infertile” And then, I started thinking (obsessing) about infertility, if this round of IVF would work, why the girl 3 rows in front of us is pregnant, why I feel this way, and before I knew it we were singing the closing song, and I was crying and Michael had no idea why except for thinking my 8PM date with hormone injections, had finally taken its emotional toll

身为为不孕者，我常常觉得，就是这样了，这就是我，不育。不是妻子，朋友，姑姑，作家，教师，徒步旅行者，妈妈， 等等, 而是不育的女人。好久以来有我都没有感到这么强烈的感绪了，所以我很惊讶, 昨晚这一个如影随形, 狼刺在背的感觉又突然袭来。昨晚，迈克尔和我在教堂中，第一次教会要大家起身互相问候。这并不奇怪，但在我们的教会却是第一次（或也许是我们第一次够早到赶上了这个）。所以，我伸出我的手，微笑着说：“我叫洛莉”，下一句自然的跑到我的嘴边，我差点就接着说“我不孕”。然后，我就开始想（沉迷）有关不孕症，是否这一轮的试管疗程会成功，为什么在我们前三排的女孩怀孕了，为什么我有这些感觉，等等 在我意会到大家在唱最后结束的歌曲时，我己经哭了起来了，而迈克尔完全不知道为什么我哭了, 他也许想除我晚上8点的激素注射，终于影响到我的情绪了吧。

When I first found out we were infertile, it was like all my old facets had been plucked out of my character and “infertile” was smacked on Everything I wanted to be encompassed the ability to have my own children Everything Nothing mattered anymore The days were spent trying to figure out, Why me, a person who wanted to devote herself to being a mom, what kind of lesson am I supposed to be learning here? Is this even a lesson? Is this punishment? What if I do come out of this all encompassing black hole that I currently live in, what I am going to do that day and everyday for the rest of my life if I was not able to have children? Would I ever be fulfilled? Would I ever stop filling this crater size whole in my heart? Would I ever be able to stop looking at pregnant woman and have Michael turn to me, wipe away a tear, and say “one day babe, one day it will be us”? Will I ever be willing to stop trying to have 宝宝, when will I know enough is enough, will I hear and be able to listen to God when he says, “you have tried enough”? Will I ever be able to be 100% happy for the loved ones in my life having little ones, and not partially jealous and envious?

当我第一次发现我们不孕，就好像我过去性格的一切被连根拔掉，而不孕两个字则迎面甩了过来。我想要的东西全部都围绕着的有能力有自己的孩子转了。一切。其它再也不重要了。我花所有的日子去想，为什么是我，一个全心想投入母职的人，这是什么样的功课吗，我应该学吗到什么？或是, 这是人生的功课还是惩罚？如果我走出这个我现所在的无所不包的黑洞，如果我真的不能生, 那么我每天要做什么？我对生命会满足吗？我会停止停止填补这个在我的心口上像座火一样大的黑洞吗吗？我会不再去看着孕妇, 然后让迈克尔过来, 擦掉我的眼泪, 告诉我：“有一天, 宝贝，有一天也轮到我们的”？我将永远愿意停止尝试有孩子，何时我才能知道够了就是够了，什么时候我才愿意听神告诉我，“你己经够努力了”？我可能 100％的为亲人有孩子而高兴，而不带有一丝丝的嫉妒和羡慕吗？

----

[以下还没翻]

Who I was was lost, being a wife, mom to gizmo, professional, aunty, friend it was like it did not matter anymore The one thing that meant the most to me was taken away When that happens, it’s like the lights are turned off and everything you want to see is there, but in the dark It’s like when you have a bad day with your spouse, and no matter how many good things happen that day, they are not as good as you know they can be, because the person you share them with is not celebrating with you

我是谁丢失了，作为一个妻子，母亲，以小发明，专业，阿姨，朋友是喜欢它没有问题了。一个事是对我最被带走。当这种情况发生，这就像灯关闭，所有你想看到的是有，但在黑暗中。这就像当你有一个糟糕的一天与你的配偶，以及无论怎样说很多好的事情发生当天，他们顷 not as好，他们可以为你know be，because的人与你分享them是不是与你庆祝。

Depression hit hard when Michael and I first found out about our “issues” We were sadly not alone in this In the 1 in 6 couples in the US who suffer from infertility, depression rates for women, who are infertile, mirror depression rates of woman with Cancer and Heart Disease ()

萧条时很难迈克尔和我第一次发现了我们的“问题”。可惜我们在此并不孤单。在1比6的夫妇在美国谁患有不育症，女性患忧郁症的比率，谁是不育，女性患忧郁症的比率镜癌症和心髒病。

I am not sure when the depression ended, but I know why it ended I stopped fighting this path for my life and started embracing what it could mean >My sister-in-law called me one day and said “Lori, we want this for you so bad, but embrace it, accept that you are having trouble with it, stop fighting it, embrace that you might never have children, embrace what that would mean, mourn it, cry over it,feel it” If she had not been through years of trying herself, and if I did not know she genuinely hurt for us, I may have sloughed her ideas off

我不知道什么时候结束的抑郁症，但我知道它为什么结束。我停止了战斗这条道路，并开始为我的生命拥抱它可能意味着什么。 >我的小姨子打电话给我一天，说：“洛里，我们希望这对你这么坏，但拥抱它，接受，您有麻烦了它，它停止战斗，拥抱，你可能永远不会有孩子，拥抱这将意味着什么，它哀悼，哭泣它，感觉到它。“如果她没有经过自己多年的努力，如果我不知道她真正伤害我们，我可能已经脱落了她的想法。

But I listened She said once I did I would start to embrace the things I could do without kids, the hole inside me would be there, but it would be less gaping That the desire would be there to have my own biological children, but the joy in finding other things to do, to find other things to desire also, would come I told her it sounded good in theory, but it sounded impossible

但我听。她说，一旦我做我会开始拥抱我的事情可以做，没有小孩，这个洞里面我会在那里，但它会较少张开。这样的愿望将在那里有我自己的亲生子女，但在寻找其他的快乐的事情要做，要找到其他的事情也希望，会来的。我告诉她，这在理论上听起来不错，但它听起来是不可能的。

But I did it, I mourned it, I cried over it, I had many fights with God over it I went weeks without changing out of my PJ’s or stepping outside I went further into depression than I had ever been And then, I started writing about it, and soon I felt enjoyment from this once creative outlet that I loved, but had put aside I started to feel free from releasing the many emotions that were wrapped up inside of me and causing me confusion, guilt, anxiety and bleakness Then I started feeling a little more alive again I started thinking about what a life without children meant and realizing that I had to accept it as a possibility and if I did, what would I do with my life

但我做到了，我悼念它，我哭了，我有很多打斗与上帝超过它。我去了两周，没有改变穿着睡衣出来的或加强之外。我去进一步陷入萧条比我去过。然后，我就开始写，很快我觉得这一次享受从创意出口，我爱，但已经搁置。我开始感到自由从释放的许多情感包裹在里面的我，使我混乱，内疚，焦虑和荒凉。然后，我开始感觉一点复活了。我开始思考什么是生活无子女的意思，意识到我不得不接受它作为一种可能性，如果我做什么我会与我的生活。

Michael and I talked about it and found many things we would love to do, including adoption, but also without children Traveling to Africa and working with the orphans out there Spending Christmas with orphans instead of at home thinking about what we don’t have Doing things with our career that we could not do with kids, travel more, give back more, spoil our nieces and nephews more It’s not what we envisioned, but it got us out of thinking our life would be nothing without kids

迈克尔和我谈过这个问题，发现很多事情，我们想做的事情，包括收养，但还没有孩子。前往非洲，并与那里的孤儿。圣诞节开支有孤儿，而不是在家里思考什么，我们没有。做事与我们的事业，我们不能这样做的孩子，更多的旅行，回馈更多，破坏自己的侄女和侄子多。这不是我们当初的设想，但我们走出了我们的生活会思考什么，没有小孩。

Then we were able to start thinking about what we were grateful for, and little by little, I started going outside again I stopped crying every time I saw a pregnant woman My jealousy and envy went down a few notches when my loved ones started getting pregnant, and my life had a new focus I was building up me again, with the possibility that I would never be a mom I never knew that was possible, but it was happening

然后，我们可以开始思考我们的感谢，并一点一点，我开始外出了。我停止了哭泣每次我看到了一个孕妇。我的嫉妒和羡慕下降1几分亲人时，我开始怀孕，我的生活有了一个新的焦点。我建立了我一次，我可能永远不会成为一个妈妈。我从来不知道这是可能的，但它发生了。

The envy, hurt, tears, “why us”, anger, sad, depressed, moments all come I think they always will, but they are less frequent, and will continue to be less frequent until we have a 宝宝 of our own, adopt or stop fighting a path of childlessness

For me, these are the things that worked in climbing out of my depressive state of mind For others it might be different But in general, from experience, I can say that by taking these steps, depression triggered by infertility can be manageable Even more than manageable, infertility brings with it the ability to turn such a dark reality, into a positive catapult for things you might never have imagined or desired

这种妒忌，伤害，眼泪，“为什么我们”，愤怒，悲伤，沮丧，时刻都来。我认为他们将永远，但他们不太频繁，而且将继续是那么频繁，直到我们有我们自己的孩子，採取或停止战斗的道路无子女。

对我来说，这些都被认为曾在爬出我的抑郁心境。对另一些人可能会有所不同。但在一般情况下，从经验来看，我可以说，通过採取这些步骤，抑郁症引发的不孕症可以控制的。甚至比管理，不孕症带来了能够使这样一个黑暗的现实，把一个积极的弹射器的东西你可能从来没有想像或希望。

So last night, when I was at church, and the thought “I am Lori, and I am infertile” came to mind and sent obsessive thoughts through my brain until tears seeped through, I was a little surprised But in a way it felt okay I am infertile, it is not who I am, or what I am, nor do I want it to be a part of me, but now, it is a part of me, it might even be the worst part of who I am, but it brings out characteristics, interests, and feelings that I never knew were part of me, and for that part, I am strangely grateful

所以昨晚，当我在教堂，并认为“我是洛里，我不育”来考虑，被送往迷恋的想法通过我的大脑，直到泪水渗透到，我有点惊讶。但是，在某种程度上它认为没问题。我不育，这不是我是谁，或者什么我，我也不希望它成为我的一部分，但现在，它是一个组成部分对我来说，它甚至可能是最可怕的是我是谁，但它带出的性格，兴趣，情感，我从来不知道是我的一部分，并且为那部分，我很奇怪的感谢。

我到现在都没有不孕的想法 只是缘分还没到

大家要这样想就对了